ALONE

ALONE sounds so different from your last release!

It’s definitely a 180 from my previous song “BETTER”. It is quiet and almost demands for attention with the soft vocals & gentle instrumentation going on. It’s one of the only songs I wrote where I almost whisper into the mic, using the words to carry the song.

The story behind the song; what inspired it?

The song is about my anxiety order and how it affects all the relationships in my life. Finding love and peace with good healthy relationships but feeling tremendously undeserving of it, resulting in me wanting to sabotage the relationship. The song talks about feeling conflicted about my relationships, being totally defeated and yearning for some help while I fight my battles with feeling disorientated by all that is going on in my mind. It is not a song meant to uplift anybody, but a song to let people who struggle with anxiety issues like me to know that they are not alone, and that I too struggle with it on a day to day basis and I’m still here.

That’s a pretty heavy topic. What reaction are you looking to get from your audience?

I hope they can relate with what I’m feeling. Often while in one of my anxious episodes, other than the self-sabotaging thoughts, I genuinely wondered if people understood what I was feeling. Being constantly overwhelmed night after night, sometimes a couple of episodes a day, changes us as a person, changes our personality, and I wondered if anyone could relate. A few people have made comments like “there’s nothing to be anxious about” and “just don’t overthink”, and it just made me feel invalidated. I want people who resonate with the song to feel heard and understood.

Which part of the song is most special to you?

The last line of the chorus would be the crux of the song. “Dear don’t let me go. Let me go tonight.” It perfectly encapsulates the message of the song. Having anxiety affected me to make false impressions of situations, and I made bad decisions as a result of sabotaging myself. So, as much as I wanted affirmation and love, I felt undeserving of it.

What was your creative process like?

The making of the instrumentation is always my favourite part of my music making, other than the writing bit. My producers, Edwin and Nicholas and I have the best time discovering what we all like that is most suited for the song’s message and the song’s sound. I was very inspired by Billie Eilish and Coldplay for this song. With their simplistic sense of making music with a sense of rawness in their vocals & instrumentation.

Any last words of advice for people who are going through anxiety?

You are going through a hard time, but it is not going to dictate how your life will eventually become. Anxiety might never leave us, but it does not mean it cannot be managed. It is all a part and parcel of life, and there is hope. In the midst of the episode you may feel helpless. In the clear of the episodes you may feel hopeless and fearful of the next one. But know that it can be managed and millions of people have managed it. You can do it.